New Church Requirements! - .:: Amader Forum - We Lead & Others Follow ::.

May 18th, 2011, 05:35 AM

post #1

narukash

Enlightened One

Join Date: Feb 2011

Location: KONOHA ~ hidden leaf village

Posts: 3,422

New Church Requirements!

New Church Requirements!

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church.

The pastor said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."

The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The old man replied, "No problem at all, Pastor."

"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.

The pastor went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it."

"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.

The pastor then went to the newlywed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?" "No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly.

"What Happened?" inquired the pastor.

"My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it.

When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."

"You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.

"We know." said the young man, "We're not welcome at the grocery store anymore either."

COFFEE STYLO

May 18th, 2011, 05:42 AM

post #2

narukash

Enlightened One

Join Date: Feb 2011

Location: KONOHA ~ hidden leaf village

Posts: 3,422

Toilet Pain!

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.

The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming."

What's all the screaming about in there?" he yells. "You're scaring my customers!"

"I'm just sitting here on the toilet," slurs the drunk, "and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my nuts ."

The bartender opens the door, looks in, and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"

COFFEE STYLO

May 18th, 2011, 05:43 AM

post #3

dwnldr04h Premium Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: ☺Amaderforum☺ Posts: 6,106	Haaahaaa.....Very very funny ONLY A LIFE LIVED FOR OTHERS IS A LIFE WORTHWHILE

May 18th, 2011, 05:44 AM

post #4

narukash

Enlightened One

Join Date: Feb 2011

Location: KONOHA ~ hidden leaf village

Posts: 3,422

Sex Ed for Beginners!

Little Johnny was sitting in Beginning Sex Ed class one day when the teacher drew a picture of a penis on the board.

"Does anyone know what this is?" She asked.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sure, my daddy has two of them!"

"Two of them?!" the teacher asked.

"Yeah. He has a little one that he uses to pee with and a big one that he uses to brush mommy's teeth!"

COFFEE STYLO