Androids

A Doctor was asked to speak to his Rotary Club and they asked if he would speak on sex and a happy marriage. He spoke and everyone thought he did a great job. He went home that night and his wife asked if he talked to the club? he said yes? she asked what his subject was? He thought he had better not tell her what he talked about so he said that he spoke on sailing. Next day his wife met one of the Rotary men at the store and he told her what a wonderful talk her husband had made, and told her that he sure was an expert on the subject.

A kid was sitting on the side of the road. He was hold a bottle when a priest came up to him and asked what he had.
The kid replied, "Turpentine - The most powerful thing in the universe." The priest looked in awe and said, "Son the most powerful thing in the universe is holy water, If you rub it on a pregnant woman's belly she'll pass a baby boy."
The kid look up in bewilderment and said, "Shit, you rub this on a cat's ass and it will pass a motorcycle."